More then phone sex, the Peck & Call Girls provide erotic communication and companionship, sex therapy, and flirty GFE fun via phone, chat and text.

The subject of intimacy substitution or replacement often comes up in what we do; after all, if we profess to offer companionship, intimate encounters not merely “wank material,” aren’t we some sort of substitute for the intimacy of marriage or other primary romantic relationships?

There are dangers in long-term reliance on the type of companionship we offer — if this shared intimacy fills an empty space in such a way that it replaces rather than enhances the intimacy of the primary relationship. The same can be said in cases where a person replaces the “hole” in their relationship with food, work, time spent blogging or on the Internet, community involvements, participation in dart league down at the local bar, or even their own children. Most folks, outside of professionals, wouldn’t consider those things as potentially damaging to a relationship as phone or virtual sex, but they can be. Perhaps even more so, as those non-sexual activities seem to be less threatening to couples’ intimacy, and therefore often go on forever unnamed, unaddressed…

Perhaps it’s because things considered to be sexual or erotic come with the presumption of infidelity — if not also too-quickly labeled ‘addictions’ too — that people are so assumptively concerned. But anything that replaces intimacy in a relationship threatens it.

And you don’t even have to be a certified therapist to see how, once it’s pointed out to you.

If a person participates in a hobby — reading, blogging, bowling — to the extent that they have their own identity and feel good about themselves, being happier in their relationship, we’d all agree that’s a “good thing.” Even if their partner would share their interest in the activity, everyone needs time alone for themselves or within their own circles of friends for their own sanity. We all know about how an individual’s high self-esteem means they feel more confident, more sexy, more willing to be intimate in physical and emotional ways.

But when the hobby or activity becomes the only place a person is happy, if the activity replaces intimacy with a partner, well, that’s another situation entirely. It doesn’t matter then if it’s a hobby, work, shopping, or the role of parent.

So why should phone sex or other forms or erotic entertainment be so different?

So, we are the ones who entertain his organs, the mighty grey one called the brain and the one between his legs, allowing him to have his own identity and feel good about himself in a sexual way — so what?

Often, those clients who are married or who are in relationships have tried to get their fantasies met in those relationships — but are not able to. It’s not (always) the old “my wife doesn’t understand me” (although sometimes that does exist), but that the spouse just isn’t turned on by what they are. Much like couples who do not share all the same political views or tastes in books and films, it is not mandatory that each half of the couple share all the same sexual fantasies. Just as his vote for President may cancel out her vote, just as her bookshelves may be filled with mysteries while his are filled with histories, they each can have special erotic fantasies the other does not share — and without any risk to their relationship. We are a client’s more interactive “choose your own sexual adventure” story, his pals who are willing to discuss the taboos his wife will not, we are the outlets that he plugs into (metaphorically!) to recharge his sexual batteries so that he does not grow in resentment, shutting down emotionally, limiting his intimate connections to his partner.

We take great pride in the fact that our companionship services enhance relationships. Emotionally and physically. (More on that last one another time.)

Unless a client opts to view us, or use us, as a replacement for true intimacy in his primary relationship, phone sex, virtual sex, masturbation, erotic companionship is no different or damaging to a relationship than a night out bowling with the boys.

Much of our society focuses on the sexist dichotomy that “women need emotional connections but men just want sex,” ignoring that men need emotional intimacy too.

Men, like women, can suffer from two forms of loneliness:

* Social Loneliness, a lack of social network, &/or
* Emotional Loneliness, the absence of close emotional relationships.

Both types of loneliness are common, often existing at the same time. And high levels of success and wealth does not make a man immune to either of them, largely because loneliness is a feeling and therefore a matter of perception.

Isolation from others often leads to negative feelings, dejection and rejection, a loss of self worth and/or depression which then insulates them from the support of family and friends, makes them feel ill at ease or unworthy of forming new relationships. This not only adds to the overall problems of position, but makes a man feel that his only worth is his job, making him not only hide in his work, but desperate to maintain a nose to the grindstone mentality to prove he has some worth.

But competition keeps workplace relationships guarded. Careers which demand travel and/or require long hours often result in isolation from family and friends, even a loss of camaraderie with co-workers. Men who have sacrificed for career success and job security might find themselves alienated from their families — the very folks they sacrificed for!

Even the men who don’t fall for the “men don’t get lonely” myth, men who would feel comfortable discussing their feelings, find that the physical distance of hotel rooms and late hours have created an emotional distance, and they’ve no close confidant to talk to about those feelings. Sometimes there’s even the fear that they’ll lose the respect of the few who are close, that their loneliness will be seen as a personal failure, so they don’t dare say a thing about the emptiness they feel. And, of course, men are so good at compartmentalizing (or “hiding”) their feelings, that those who are close might not even see signs of loneliness.

Loneliness not only is compounded by stress, but lonely people are less apt to manage daily stressors well. And lonely people also do not get enough adequate sleep. So is it any surprise that loneliness leads to health problems?

According to MensHealth.com:

A man who is socially isolated has a relative risk of death between two and five times greater than one with better social connections. Why that is, scientists don’t know. Social isolation is deadly, and not just in America. In France, the leading cause of death among middle-aged men and women is cancer. In the 1990s, a Harvard study of social integration and mortality among French subjects found that the men who were most isolated were 3.6 times as likely to die of cancer as their well-connected peers.

(We Peck & Call Girls aren’t scientists, but we do believe in the power of human connection as a powerful life force.  Science may not be able to quite put its finger on why — but the evidence is there.)

There’s a reason they say, “It’s lonely at the top.”  It can be. But let us join you there — or let us “top” you, even. *wink*

Let us be the companions that fit in your schedule, on your terms — the companions you can confess to, connect with.

After all, it’s for your health and well being!

You might think we Peck & Call Girls are biased, but we are emotionally intelligent women, and we would be remiss if we did not address this question honestly. After all, each of us has had to face the reality of how we feel about married or committed men calling us or using our services.

We’ve all been asked, sometimes in an accusatory manner, this very question. And, “Isn’t exchanging intimate emails or text messages, chatting or cybering with a married man cheating?”

The complicated truth is, “It all depends upon who you ask!”

In terms of your own relationship, if you and your partner have not discussed the subject of phone sex or other virtual sex acts — and both clearly agreed that it is OK — then your partner may feel it’s cheating. But that doesn’t mean it’s so.

We do recommend, for the sake of your relationship, that you do have an honest conversation about phone sex and other forms of erotic entertainment with your spouse or partner; here are some points to include in that discussion.

Many people consider phone sex or any intimate communication (including standard companionship intimacies as well as sexual conversations) to be a betrayal. At the very least, it might prompt the insecure question, “Why aren’t you sharing that with me?”

But really, phone sex is interactive audio porn and therefore no more upsetting than reading an erotic book, flipping through a men’s magazine, watching a porno, etc.; it’s simply solo erotic entertainment. Even if the person delivering it, guiding it, is enjoying it too.

While some other types of sex work are seen as perhaps crossing a line, phone sex, guided masturbation, and other arousing communication services are less threatening as there is no touching, no health threats from the exchange of bodily fluids, no meeting face to face.

While it’s true that we pride ourselves on offering companionship and emotional intimacy along with arousing pleasures, we are professionals — and as such do not become so deluded or confused by the intimacies or fantasies as to intrude on a client’s “real life” with expectations, stalking, etc..

That’s the beauty of using a professional virtual sex service; it’s no more risky to your relationship than the paid services of a therapist.